Mission Venture Ministries

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29) 

What happens when someone offends you or hurts you? What is your first response? Do you immediately become angry and have the desire to retaliate? Or perhaps your outward expression doesn’t change, but inside you begin quietly nurturing bitterness. 

Although these reactions might seem perfectly natural to men, they definitely are not how God tells us to respond. 

We need to understand that un-forgiveness is spiritually destructive because it is contrary to God’s will and affects our emotions, thoughts, prayers, our relationship with others and especially with our heavenly Father. 

Scripture is very clear that we are to forgive anyone who causes us harm, because we ourselves have been forgiven a much larger debt of sin by God. The grace He pours out on each of us should be our motivation to extend grace to others. If we have received His loving pardon, then we must do the same for others, even when it feels unfair. 

Forgiveness involves a total change of attitude and action; whereby we give up resentment toward someone and relinquished our desire for revenge. In our own strength, this is impossible, but if instead of in our pride we continue to focus on what has happened and ask the Lord to change us and fill us with His Spirit, He will begin the process of transforming our heart. 

Why do we have such a hard time extending forgiveness to others? Perhaps one reason is that it doesn’t seem right. Justice demands that there be punishment for wrongdoing. However, when we read God’s Word we become aware that we are not the ones who have the authority to retaliate, and to do so amounts to usurping God’s role, which is just as sinful as what was done to us. 

The Bible tells us to, “be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). 

That we should help our brothers in Christ to, “see to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many” (Hebrews 12:15). 

And that we should not “grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice” (Ephesians 4:30-31). 

Like Paul teaches, instead of demanding justice now, we should encourage others to bless and do good to those who persecute us. As hard as this might be even for Christian, the Word tells us: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:17-18). As we see, we can never overcome evil with sinful attitudes and actions, but only with good. 

We must trust God and leave vengeance to Him because it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord” (Romans 12:19). 

And always remember what Jesus said: “If you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:15); and that is a very sobering thought. 

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