Mission Venture Ministries

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:11) 

When we talk about rescuing or enabling someone, we need to look at the situation of what is happening and what has been occurring. Once we have done this, we need to evaluate the situation to make sure that we are not becoming enablers. 

The Bible says a person reaps what they sow (Galatians 6:7). A bad choice almost always leads to a bad consequence. Since we want what’s best for someone, we’ll counsel them to avoid making bad choices, but that’s not the same as helping them not to suffer the consequences if they persist in choosing to do what is wrong. 

While it is correct and good to rescue people who are in a dangerous situation and cannot save themselves (Proverbs 24:11), or helping them when a dire unforeseen circumstance happens; we become enablers when we rescue people that continue to practice bad choices and we feel the responsibility to minimize the consequences of their bad choices. 

Many people believe that rescuing equates to having mercy on someone, but is that really having mercy? We need to understand that we become enablers whey we continually bail someone out and never allow the person to learn from their mistakes. As Christians we are to help each other move in the right spiritual direction. It does not mean giving them money every time they ask for it. 

There is a place for mercy, but if we constantly rescue someone from the natural consequences of sin, we rob that person of the wisdom God wants to impart to them. It’s never easy to see a loved one experience difficulty, but we need to be tough and let God teach them the important lesson in life they need to learn. 

When we give money to a family member or a friend we suspect is using it unwisely, we enable them to continue in their wrongdoing. Even when we are helping out with necessary bills, we may still be enabling them when we know that that they are only experiencing need because they have squandered their own money on gambling / booze / drugs / cigarettes / materialistic self-satisfaction / etc. 

When we rescue people from consequences they deserve, we become amateur providence that is; we are interfering with God’s plan for them, which might end up in adverse consequences for us also. 

God uses the consequence of our bad choices to teach us life lessons, but when a rescuer/enabler keeps bailing the person out, the offender is basically living a consequence-fee life, and we are negating a valuable lesson that the irresponsible person needs to learn. 

Like the story Jesus told about prodigal son who had to hit terrible times tending pigs and eating their food after squandering the vast amount of money his father had given him (Luke 15:11-32). Thankfully after the prodigal  hit rock bottom and realized he was wrong; he became remorseful and vowed to make things right. The father welcomed him back with open arms since he never stopped caring, but he was willing to let God discipline the son’s rebelliousness in His own way.

As we see some people do not learn until they hit bottom and unfortunately some never do. The Bible is a book of boundaries and consequences. From the Garden of Eden (Genesis 1-3) to Revelation, we see many situations of God saying, “Thou shall not.” But He did not put a fence around the forbidden fruit in the Garden, and He allowed Adam and Eve to make the choices they wished to make; however, there are consequences that came with those choices. 

All through the Old Testament, we find examples of God clearly instructing His people Israel to walk in His commands. Through His prophets, He warned them what would happen if they disobeyed (Joshua 23; Zechariah 1:6). They disobeyed anyway, so God brought consequences: they wandered in the wilderness for forty years (Numbers 14:28-35), and they spent seventy years of captivity in Babylon (Jeremiah 25:3-11). Although it displeased God to have to punish His people, the Lord did not rescue them from their justly earned consequences. 

Many times when we rescue others by being enablers, it allows them to manipulate us while remaining on the same unwise course. When people ask and we just give, we are not helping them; instead we are making it easier for them to continue doing what they have been doing instead of letting them reap the well deserved consequences. 

We need to stop our habit of enabling by setting healthy boundaries for ourselves. As long as we believe it is our job to rescue everyone who comes to us for help, we will be at the mercy of fools who in the long run will drain our resources if we let them. We need to make every decision based on the discernment God gives us for the long-term best interests of ourselves and others. 

When we allow others to violate our boundaries and take from us what many times we cannot afford to give, we have switched from righteous rescuing to unrighteous enabling. 

Allowing someone to suffer the consequences of their disobedience might be painful to us, but it is letting God do what He has to do to free them from the power of sin. The Bible teaches us that “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11). God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in His holiness. 

As followers of Jesus, we are to be both helpful and wise. We need to make sure however, that we are truly helping and not enabling someone to continue on a self-destructive path. If we aren’t sure what to do, we should ask God. “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” (James 1:5). 

The difference between helping and enabling comes down to having the strength to say NO when we find ourselves doing things people should be doing for themselves. 

We need to remember that Jesus Christ is the final authority on any decision we make and that “we must obey God rather than human beings” (Acts 5:29); and that a change in behavior will never last without a change in the heart and mind of a person; and that’s the kind of transformation only Jesus provides (1 Corinthians 6:10-11). 

When we want the best for someone, we’ll encourage them to please God with their choices. They can’t however please God if we continually enable them by being part of the problem, because people don’t have initiative to change when they find themselves in a comfortable situation. 

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