Mission Venture Ministries

The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. (Proverbs 12:26)

Christians need to understand that people are divided into only two categories, those who belong to the world and its ruler, Satan, and those who belong to God (Acts 26:18).

These two groups of people are described in terms of opposites all through the Bible:

• those who walk in darkness / those who walk in the light;
• those who obtain eternal life / those who will end up in eternal death;
• those who have peace with God / those who are at war with Him;
• those who believe the truth / those who believe in lies;
• those on the narrow path to salvation / those on the broad road to destruction.

These are but a few examples that the Bible gives us and as we clearly see, the message of Scripture is that believers are completely different from nonbelievers, and it is from this perspective that we must discern what kind of friendships we can have with unbelievers.

The Word tells us that we should stay away from foolish people: “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm” (Proverbs 13:20); and “Stay away from a fool, for you will not find knowledge on their lips” (Proverbs 14:7).

It also tells us to stay away from people who lose their temper easily: “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered” (Proverbs 22:24).

These verses address those who have not been saved and warn us: “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14). And 1 Corinthians 15:33 tells us that bad company corrupts good character.

If we become deeply involved, either by friendship or a romantic relationship with non-Christians, we are setting ourselves up for a life of hurt and turmoil. The reason being is that the association with an unbeliever often causes the Christian to stumble in his walk, fall back into a sinful life and compromise their beliefs.

Another detrimental effect of closeness with unbelievers is the tendency of many, to water down the truths of Scripture so as to not offend them. There are difficult truths in the Word of God, truths such as judgment and hell. When Christians try to minimize or ignore these doctrines, they are dishonoring our heavenly Father.

Although close relationships with unbelievers are not recommended, it does not mean we ignore them either. Second Timothy 2:24-26 tells us that as servants of the Lord, we are to be kind and not quarrel with anyone. We should gently teach those who oppose the truth, and be patient with difficult people. And Matthew 5:16 tells us, “Let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly father.”

Many people have been saved because of the prayers and witness of Christians, so don’t reject unbelievers. But remember that having any kind of intimate relationship with an unbeliever can quickly and easily turn into something that is a hindrance to our walk with Christ.

We are called to evangelize the lost, but not to be intimate with them. It is good to get acquainted with unbelievers and even help them when they have a legitimate need – but the primary focus of such a relationship should be to win them to Christ by sharing the Gospel with them and demonstrating God’s saving power in our own lives.

If you are single and have not married yet, wait and pray. Let God lead you to the mate that He will want you to marry if it is in His will that you get married. 

Marriage is the closest most intimate human relationship in the world, if you marry a sinner you are walking into a hellish nightmare, of pain, loss, disease, possible harm and early death. 

It is insane to marry someone who is living a sinful life, because, if you marry a child of Satan he or she will most certainly influence you and your children to live an evil life. You will struggle to lift them up, while he or she will be determined to drag you and your children down to their sinful, rebellious lifestyle. 

God has given each of us instincts and He does not want us to go astray. Likewise, for those who are married and have children you also do not want your kids to go astray. You don’t want them to associate with the wrong kind of people, because, they can become easily corrupted in a very short time by bad and negative influences. As a result, you will become very protective of your children, and you will watch them very closely until they are old enough and biblically wise enough to start choosing who their true friends are going to be.

Remember, children are born sinful, naïve and foolish. They must be instructed and trained for godly living. Left to themselves they will follow the passion of their flesh and this includes choosing friends whose behavior and attitudes appeal to that sinful flesh. In contrast to the natural carnality of children, God’s standard for choosing friends is stated by the psalmist. “I am a friend to anyone who fears you—anyone who obeys your commandments” (Psalm 119:63). This standard must be taught and pressed home to the mind of every child. In order to be properly motivated and admonished to be faithful in this responsibility, parents must understand the biblical reasons why this standard must be taught to their children.

So pray, ask God for wisdom to choose friends and your mate wisely and don’t hang on to the so-called friends that do not honor the Lord with their lives.  

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