Mission Venture Ministries

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” (Matthew 18:21-22) 

Forgiving a person is sometimes easier said than done, especially when it’s someone close to us. It’s often said the closer the relationship, the deeper the wound. 

So, how can we respond when we are rejected by loved ones, since even Christians can hold grudges and have a spirit of un-forgiveness? 

First we need to understand that forgiving does not come easily, but with God’s help all things are possible (Mark 10:27), and once we chose to forgive, we feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off us.  

Second, as Christians we need to understand that forgiveness is a mandate for believers; it is non-negotiable – because, if we want forgiveness, we must also forgive. “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15) 

It is important to comprehend that un-forgiveness does more harm to us, than it does to the one we are not forgiving. It leads to mental anguish, depression, even physical health problems. Forgiveness brings the opposite, it refreshes, brings peace, and good health. If you want peace, you must forgive since peace and un-forgiveness do not mix.  

When we choose forgiveness, we are being Christ like, “be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). Similarly, Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” The key in both passages is that we are to forgive others as God has forgiven us. So, why do we forgive? Because we have been forgiven! 

In most relationships, we will at some point experience disagreement and division, whether on a minor or major scale. At times this might result from misguided expectations and a lack of boundaries. But one thing is for sure, if we are going to build good, lasting friendships, we have to be forgiving. 

In Matthew 18:21-35, Peter asks how often he has to forgive his brother. By suggesting seven times, Peter assumes he’s being generous. But when we turn that question around, how often should our brother forgive us? Or more importantly, how often should God forgive us? 

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22). Refusing to forgive a person demonstrates resentment, bitterness, and anger, none of which are the traits of a growing Christian. Biblically, forgiveness is not just something that the offended person offers; it requires the offender to receive it, bringing reconciliation to the relationship. 

When we humanly reflect on this it feels burdensome, when we are the one that has to ask for forgiveness. But if we are the one being forgiven, it feels a lot like mercy which is also referred to as compassion. 

We need to understand that despite the rifts that occur in relationships, there is still the possibility of forgiveness, change, and even renewal. Remember that it’s not always important to determine who requests forgiveness and who extends it since forgiveness is a deliberate act of love, mercy, and grace. Forgiveness is a decision to not hold something against another person, despite what he or she has done to you. 

Remember that God promises that, when we come to Him confessing our sin and asking for forgiveness, He freely grants it for the sake of Christ, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). 

Likewise, the forgiveness we extend to others should know no limits. “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them” (Luke 17:3–4). 

If you need help with forgiving those who have rejected you, let’s pray together. 

Father, I come before You. I have been holding anger and un-forgiveness in my heart towards _____________.  I release them to You. I do not want to carry this burden any longer. Free me from the bondage of un-forgiveness. I give my past to You. I give my wounds, tears, abuse, abandonment, rejection, and the person/ people who hurt me to You. I pray that if they have not found Jesus Christ yet, that they will. I pray they will find forgiveness from their sins thru You, just as You forgave me. Thank You for being a God of restoration and the healer of emotional wounds. In Jesus’ name, Amen.  

******* 

WISE QUOTES: 

“Forgiveness is a sign that the person who has wronged you means more to you than the wrong they have dealt.”  — Ben Greenhalgh 

“Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.” — Corrie ten Boom 

“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” — Alexander Pope 

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” — Lewis B. Smedes 

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson 

*******