Mission Venture Ministries

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” (James 1:5) 

As long as we live in this fallen world, there is always some type of trouble, but the key to a good relationship is to lean on God and seek wisdom from Him, we cannot rely on ourselves but on Him alone. He alone provides the right wisdom to get us out of trouble. 

Relationships can be one of the most vital and rewarding areas of our lives, yet we often find ourselves at odds with each other due to our differences. We need to understand that we don’t need to agree on every issue to enjoy meaningful relations with one another. 

For instance conversations about different perspectives can be very enlightening, even energizing. But it’s easy to react in a self-centered, quick-tempered, critical, or easily offended way when there’s a disagreement. 

Too often we defend our views rather than listen and try to understand another’s way of thinking. 

If we allow anger or resentment to creep in, we are in danger of destroying a relationship for the sake of winning an argument. When we act like this, we’re letting our flesh control us instead of walking in the Spirit, and the relationship suffers. 

The Lord gives us a new, righteous nature at the moment of salvation, but we still live in fallen human bodies and therefore, we will always have an internal battle with the flesh. Consequently, as we look at the way we respond to others, what’s more apparent, the fruit of the Spirit or the deeds of the flesh? The contrast between the two is seen in Galatians 5:19-23. 

The deeds of the flesh include hostilities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissensions, and factions; whereas, “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” 

Much has been written and said about how to have good relationships, but until we deal with the issues in our own hearts, root problems will remain. 

So what does God say it takes to live in peace with one another? 

Romans 14:19 tells us to “pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.” Paul clarifies how to do this in Ephesians 4:1-3: “Walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, being diligent to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” 

First, to develop and maintain great relationships we need a pure heart. Jesus said, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God” (Matthew 5:8). This describes our position in Christ, but it’s also something we can pursue in a practical way by dealing with sin quickly and living daily in a way that honors the Lord. Our relationships cannot be right if we are harboring sin in our heart and living in rebellion. 

Second, a spirit of love must be active and evident in our life. “Since you have purified your souls in obedience to the truth for a sincere love of the brothers and sisters, fervently love one another from the heart” (1 Peter 1:22). This is easy when people are lovable, but Jesus tells us to also love those who mistreat us (Luke 6:27-28). That’s only possible as the Holy Spirit enables us to look beyond their hurtful actions to see their pain and the need for the Savior. Then God’s love can flow through us. 

Third, we need patience which is one of the Christian graces mentioned in Colossians 3:12, “As those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” The conflicts, disagreements, and misunderstandings that accompany strained relationships may not change, but our attitude can be transformed as these virtues take root in our life. 

Fourth, we must have a forgiving spirit. “Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32). Anger, bitterness, resentment, and grudges destroy relationships. Forgiveness sets us free from these sins so we no longer desire revenge. 

We may not be able to restore every strained relationship, but “if possible, so far as it depends on us,” we are to live at peace with others (Romans 12:18). 

God knows there are some people who will refuse to be reconciled no matter what we do. But by forgiving them, we’ll have God’s peace in our heart. 

Therefore, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God” (Matthew 5:9). 

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